Christmas Meal 2011

CHRISTMAS AT 'LES MOUSSEAUX'

It was Christmas Day at 'Les Mousseaux',
But no turkey nor goose had we there,
The pantry slab, was all empty and drab,
And the kitchen and larder were bare!


The sprouts in the garden were frozen,
The carrots were deep in the ground,
And if truth is told, the rooms were all cold,
And no comfort there could be found.


Instead we decided to visit
A hostelry not far away,
Where a true gourmet spread, was offered instead
Of a spartan lunch on Christmas Day.


So 'Au Pelican', we were now going,
Which promised an excellent feast,
With sauce bordelaise, and framboises and fraises,
With paté, and oysters at least!


Madame, La patronne, she was waiting,
She was smiling from each ear to ear,
'Bonjour mes amis,' she announced with great glee,
'Merry Xmas and Happy New Year'


She oozed with her seasonal unction,
As she counted our euros with joy!
The restaurant's so small, please just sit in the hall,
Or next to this ill- mannered boy!'


We soon found the English 'ghetto',
Where 'Les Anglais' were jammed in the room,
The French were all right, by the windows in light,
But we were ensconced in the gloom.


Soon we were sitting at table,
And la patronne came round to announce,
For les clients 'loyale', voici 'kir royale',
(As long as their cheque doesn't bounce!)


The first course was 'velouté de crustaces,'
So rich and so smooth and so sweet,
And with 'coquilles St Jacques', on our plates in a stack,
We were soon feeling rather replete.


But the courses kept on coming,
Rich sauces with butter and cream,
There was duck and chevreuil, and 'paté mille feuilles',
A gourmand's mid winter dream!


We thought we had almost finished,
When the main course arrived on our plates,
It was wild boar poivrade, mousseline d'épinard,
And an artichoke sauce topped with dates.


We struggled to empty the platter,
But cheese and dessert there remained,
Our appetites sated, we just sat and waited,
Our wine glasses now fully drained.


'Mon Dieu!' cried the new young waitress,
'You are looking so very queer!
'Was it 'la roulade', which made you 'malade',
'On espère vous n'allez pas vomir!


But we would NOT be defeated,
Although we'd had too much to eat,
And eager to please, we just scoffed the goat's cheese,
And soon we were facing the sweet!


It towered in a glass full of liqueur,
Tarte de mangue avec vanille and cream,
Our stomachs were churning, our throats they were burning,
Was this meal, a nightmare or dream?


We swallowed a few dainty morsels,
But Sally had turned a deep green,
And the 'chocolate surprise', just brought tears to our eyes,
The feeling was really obscene!


So although only four, we rushed for the door,
And asked la patronne for our bill,
'Mais Monsieur,' she quick snapped, 'I fear you are trapped!'
'There's the 'digestif' and café still!


But now quite awake, I started to quake,
And escaped 'toute suite' from the bar,
Though weak at the knees, I groped for my keys,
Hopped in and drove off in the car!

Epilogue


Now this year as Christmas approaches,
We are planning our meal for the Yule,
But we're staying 'chez nous', and cooking some stew,
With brown rice, potatoes and gruel!